QUIZ: Is your Professor just 3 Kids in a Trench Coat?

We’ve all been there. You’re sitting in class, annoyed that your professor has no knowledge on the topic at hand, when you start to think: maybe they aren’t incredibly unqualified, maybe they are just 3 kids stacked on top of one another in a trench coat. We at The Stallion are always looking to ensure the students of UCF get a proper education, so we’ve developed this quiz for you to determine whether they’ve got a master’s or 3 separate kindergarten graduation certificates.


  1. Ask them where they went to undergrad, how do they respond?

A: “Oh yes, I only took 7 semesters to complete my degree at the University of Carolina Southside, go cats! My major was in Anti-Mythic Aeroscience with a minor in High Chemistry and a certificate of Teaching in Countries with Exactly Seven Lakes.”


B: “college school…?”


  1. “Hey professor, what do you have in your hydroflask?”


A: “Vodka.”


B: “chocolate milk ! :)”


  1. “Did you play any sports in high school or college?”

A: “It’s been ages but, yes, I did dabble in a bit of ultimate frisbee in my younger years. I would’ve been on the varsity team, but I sprained my ankle in my junior year.”


B: “I like tag!!!”


  1. “Do you have a dream car?”


A: “I don’t particularly believe in cars, as a concept.”


B: “a big wheel. no a BIGGER wheel!”


  1. “Can you help me access this WebCourses assignment?”

A: “My expertise is not in technology, sorry.”


B: “oh yeah! u just gotta log in with ur NiD and type in the course code!!”


Mostly A’s: Ooooh yikes. Looks like your professor is actually just ignorant and doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Bummer!


Mostly B’s: Nice! Your crappy education is justified because this professor is totally just 3 kids stacked up in a trench coat! Bring them some ice cream and R rated movies and you’re likely to pass!