Lovebug Season Leads Area Couple to Another Argument On Intimacy

“Jesus f–king Christ they’re f**cking here again, ” a phrase used in its most literal sense by UCF student, Andres Pullos. The Orlando native entered his car ready to be screwed over on the road but was hardly prepared for all the screwing going on, on the road.

Coming once a year like the kinky sex retreat for swingers, lovebug season has dawned on the Central Florida area once again. The season brings more sex-crazed nymphomaniacs to Orlando than EDC and a Donald Trump rally combined. 

For Pullos however, it also brought in a storm of questions from his boyfriend David Namgub. 

“I see them flying here, f–king there, and I just really want what they have,” Namgub spilled to the Stallion. “Like I love Andres but we don’t love love like the lovebugs do.” 

Pullos mentioned that he had never heard this complaint from Namgub before. He now blames the University of Florida for his relationship woes for reportedly creating the lovebug over a decade go. 

In a side-by-side interview, Pullos expressed distaste in the way the lovebugs would splatter all over his windshield. To which Namgub responded:

“I wish you would splatter over my windshield.” 

The couple proceeded to almost magnetically come together, joining butt to butt and chase our Stallion team members into their car. While the team took refuge in the car the couple solved their issues of intimacy all over the vehicle. They continued to fornicate for many hours until our reporter turned on the windshield wipers.