New Pumpkin Spice IPA Still Tastes Like Beer

In a stroke of genius, Anheuser-Busch launched a new line of fall beverages including a brand new Pumpkin Spice Indian Pale Ale. This new IPA has been garnering a lot of buzz.

Reviews praise it’s “subtle, but still, definitely beer flavor” and its “tasteful aromas of wheat, and like, maybe a tiny bit of pumpkin but it’s hard to tell.” They have been cropping up all over the U.S.

According to professional craft beer reviewer, Jonathan McBredwater, the beer “has that delicious, moldy wheat juice taste we love, but has an incredibly subtle, almost impossible to notice, hint of pumpkin.” According the the official Budweiser website, this subtlety is created by having an employee whisper the word “pumpkin” at the cans prior to distribution.

The Stallion decided to conduct a blind taste test, to show unknowing participants just how delicious this beverage is. Three cups were set up, the first contained the pinnacle of craft beer Natty Ice, the second contained the new Pumpkin Spice IPA, and the third was literally just Wonder Bread and water.

Here are some quotes from our survey:

“Yeah this [cup two] tastes kind of like if you took a Pumpkin Spice Latte, took out everything that makes it taste delicious, and replaced it with literal dirt. So yeah I guess it’s pretty good,” says sophomore Jessica Conners.

“Wow this [cup one] actually tastes a lot like the expert craft beer I got in the Colorado mountains that was crafted by a native monk made from organic melted snow. It cost me $18 a bottle but it was perfect. What brand is this,” says total legally able to drink freshman, Jacoby Brandt.

“Holy shit this [cup three] is amazing, maybe the best beer I’ve ever had,” exclaimed Jeff Contra, a professor of Humanities.

Over 83% of participants tasted the Pumpkin Spice IPA and responded with “that sure is beer.”

We believe the results and statements speak for themselves. You just gotta try this new IPA.

(The Stallion is not sponsored by Anheuser-Busch)

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