BINGO for the Wandering UCF Student – Spring Break Edition
The Stallion recognizes that in the quest to have a good time, all college students must go out, which usually leads to them finding themselves…
America’s Next Industry Shark? This Student is Selling Scantrons Before His Midterm for $10
On Thursday morning, during a Principles of Microeconomics lecture with 300 students, many sat down to realize that they had forgotten the raspberry scantron for…
Presidential Search Committee to Select President Based on Kickboxing Match
Since the Presidential Search Committee narrowed the candidates to four, the elite all-male prospects have been training for the fight of their lives. On Friday,…
Police Storm Holi Celebration After Reports of Mysterious Airborne Powder
In the wake of last Wednesday’s Business Administration evacuation when a man with literally nothing better to do that day tossed a mysterious white powder…
“Plagiarism Will Not Be Tolerated,” Says Professor Taking Test Questions from Quizlet
A professor, who will remain anonymous, took the first few minutes of his ethics class last night to remind his students that plagiarism would not…
New Study: Candidate with Most Signs Pretty Much Guaranteed SGA Presidency
SGA election season is in full swing once again. Each candidate has a political platform, past leadership experience, and most notably, a legion of signs…
UCF Replaces Free-Speech Zones with Really Mean Robots
The University of Central Florida announced today that, effective immediately, all free-speech zones on campus are to be abolished. The motion passed SGA just last…
Student Would Rather Infect Whole Class with Flu Than Cover His Mouth Once
With the United States facing its worst flu season in a decade, reminders to keep sickness at home and cover one’s face during coughing or…
BREAKING SCANDAL: UCF Parking Employees Earning Commission on Parking Tickets in INTERNATIONAL CORRUPTION RING
Developing story: Have you gotten a parking ticket recently? How about one of your friends? How about…all of your friends? Early yesterday, the Stallion’s chief…