Orientation Group Rescued 23 Days After Losing O-Team Guide
The UCF police department is responsible for yet another heroic rescue, finding orientation group “Emily’s Eagles” after they were reported missing on May 22nd. According…
Academic Life
Health Center Offers Sex-Ed to Professors Before They Screw Students with Finals
In an effort to maintain Orlando’s status as “The City Beautiful”, UCF’s Health and Wellness Center has taken steps to curtail the proliferation of a…
Socialist Stage SGA Coup, Attempt to Institute Bell Curve Grading
The University of Central Florida is in danger from the silent liberal agenda, and it has been for years. Now Student Government is planning to…
Business Major Consoles Fellow Student During Mid-Semester Slip Into the Void
As UCF approaches midterms, many students are spiraling toward their breaking point. Benjamin Crossley, an Aeronautics Engineering major, is familiar with the sensation of losing…
Freshman makes Dean’s List rewarded only with disappointment
“I don’t get it,” Kyle Hambrick said. “At least in high school I got a coupon to McDonalds.” About 3,000 freshmen made it to the…
UCF announces plans for College of Transportation in partnership with Uber and Lyft
The University of Central Florida has announced a proposal to add a College of Transportation to its campus. In a press release, President John Hitt…
UCF Student Found Desperately Crafting Homemade Scantron Minutes Before Test
In a last ditch effort to ready herself for an impending chemistry exam, after repeatedly feeling too tired to grab a scantron from SGA offices…
UCF Study Abroad student accidentally sent to study abroad at UCF
UCF junior Parker Smith said he noticed something was off when his exiting his flight that supposedly was arriving in France. “At first I just…