Report: Roommate Seems to Really Be Going Through It

Sources have been speculating as to whether or not freshman Ashley Torres is going through, like, a thing right now.

A newly-purchased box of red hair dye and an excess of takeout containers partially concealed in the shared bathroom trash can are just some of the signs indicating Torres’s vibes might be, like, kinda off.

“I mean, I guess she hasn’t acted much differently towards me in real life, but she did archive her entire Instagram except for three photos, and she’s been blasting Lizzo for two days straight.” said roommate Alexa Jones, 18.  “Last night I overheard her on the phone wondering if she should cut her own bangs, which was when I really knew something was up.”

Though Jones has noted significant and concerning changes in Torres’s behavior, the next steps are still unclear. “We aren’t super close, and we really only talk if one of us needs to buy toilet paper or something, so I feel kind of weird prying into her personal life. Maybe she broke up with her boyfriend?” said Jones. “She always had this guy over, Brett or Brent or something. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him around for a bit. Wait, were they even dating? They might have been lab partners.” 

While many details are under investigation, at the time of publication, Torres had just tweeted “men are trash💁‍”, closely followed by a text to Jones asking if it was chill for Bradley to come over, and if she wouldn’t mind sleeping at a friend’s place tonight.

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