4 Easy Tricks to Avoid Eye Contact With Your Professor When They Are Asking About the Assigned Reading.
Oh no! You totally forgot to do the reading for today’s 13th Century Modernist Architecture class! You totally meant to, and you really love the class but instead, you binged watched the entirety of “You” last night. Don’t worry! The Stallion’s got some neat tips to help you avoid the petrifying stare of your professor as he vaguely scans the room for any signs of weakness.
- Look down, look down at all costs.
“So can anyone tell me about the articles main idea?” That’s your clue to stare directly at the floor and really just marvel at the beautiful patterned carpet. By pretending that an anchor is dangling from your chin, rendering you completely unable to move your head, you are guaranteed to never make eye contact with Professor Oldwhiteguy.
- Wear a blindfold to class.
This one is super simple, and can be done with stuff you probably have lying around your apartment! Just grab any piece of fabric (we prefer fleece!), cut it into a 2-inch by 36-inch rectangle, and tie it around your head over your eyes. Voila! Your teacher will never make awkward eye contact with you again, and you’ll never have to worry about silly questions like, “Are you sleeping during my lecture?”
Note: You may need a friend to help guide you to class.
- Stare directly at them the entire time, unblinking. Unceasing.
Establishing dominance and agency is important in any social environment, especially the classroom. If you want to stop the awkward eye contact with the teacher, simply lock eyes with them and then proceed to never blink or let the intensity of your stare drop. This will make them uncomfortable. They will probably ask something like, “Why are you staring deep into my heartless human body?” A good response here is “it’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”
- Skip class.
Yeah. Just skip.
We hope these expert pro tips help you succeed in one of life’s most awkward situations! Toodles!