Protestors from both sides of the aisle have surrounded the Gringos Locos on campus following its September opening. College Democrats stand outside a newly opened taco shop making claims of cultural appropriation perpetuated by the owners of the shop. UCF Republicans found a similar enemy after one student Google translated what the name truly meant.
“I read the name and thought ‘great, another social program for my hard earned tuition money to go to’,” said UCF Republican Secretary Max Tellerson. “I asked SIRI what the name meant and when I found out I knew I had to get the boys down here.”
A brawl ensued on Knights Plaza as the two groups neglected to read the other’s signs and assumed they were there to counter-protest. It wasn’t until the third day of protests that Tellerson accidentally overheard the college democrats mantra of “Gringos can’t say gringos!”
“We had no idea the owners were simply innocent, American, small-business owners trying to make a living,” a bloodied Tellerson told The Stallion as he packed up his Pepe mask.
College Democrats now directed all attention towards their battle on the storefront.
“Our primary goal is to make sure that immigrants can thrive in this country with individual agency, even if that means we have to fight for it on their behalf,” protestor Joanne Limawitz exclaimed, “Here in the College Democrats, we truly value the employee over the employer.”
The newly opened Gringos has since considered closing indefinitely to turn their focus towards branding. The store has stated they may place all employees on indefinite leave, including former line-cook Roger Flores who had a few choice words after the situation: