Wow! This Student Only Got Into 3 Accidents While Trying to Exit the Parking Garage!

    Early Thursday morning, sophomore Marcell Evans secured his parking spot on the third floor of garage H. After a long day of classes, he began the journey of exiting the garage.

“I would be lying if I said I hadn’t been dreading it all day,” Marcell said. “I’ve lost several nights of sleep lying awake, thinking of the horrors of the parking garage.”

According to an official report, Marcell started to pull out of his spot around 5 pm; disaster immediately struck.

“I saw two cars on both sides of me, turn signals on, ready to immediately take my spot.”

The Stallion has found that this is the first time a turn signal had been used with either vehicle.

According to eyewitness reports, one car, a black ‘02 Hyundai Sonata, attempted to park in the spot before Marcell had even pulled out, resulting in a minor fender bender that “totally roughed up” Marcell’s left bumper.

“Man that’s gonna be $60… at least!”, stated Marcell.

Even after the first accident, Marcell tried to keep his wits. He cautiously continued his exit at a conservative 35 MPH.

“I was going about 35 down the ramp when I started to round a corner, and fortunately, there were two Ford F250’s parked in the compact parking spots so I couldn’t see anything.” Said Marcell.

Unbeknownst to him, a student around the corner was exiting their spot, while another student was waiting to take it. Marcell impacted both of these cars resulting in one shattered headlight and three collective groans.

“We didn’t really know how insurance worked,” said a student involved, “and none of our cars were on fire so we all just left and called it a day.”

Marcell was ecstatic. He was at the exit of the parking garage and had only been in 2 minor scuffs. Much better than his previous record of 7. But the universe wouldn’t let him out that easy. Just as he was about to pull out of the garage, he heard the unmistakable sound of a Limebike hitting his passenger side door.