The Stallion’s 6 Tips for Finding Parking at UCF

A lot of things are different around campus during the summer semester, but one thing remains the same: it is impossible to find parking on campus. Here are six tips from the Stallion to help you find a spot when you need it most.

Get There Early

Try getting to UCF somewhere between 3:00 and 5:00 in the morning, before anybody else gets there. You’ll be able to scope out any spot you want, leave a “Reserved for Papa C. Hitt” sign on your spot, and be home in time to get a couple more hours of sleep and a hearty breakfast. Once you get back to school, you can remove Papa’s sign from your spot, park, and have a leisurely walk to class.

Ride a Bike

You may be thinking, “That’s a lot of work, I’d rather drive,” but we find that riding a bike creates a much better environment for meditation than driving a car. Let your legs spin and your mind go blank as you ponder what went wrong the last time you tried to park your car at UCF. Just keep riding until you reach enlightenment; by the time you get home you should be prepared to drive to school and successfully find a parking spot.

Narc on Other Students

Once you’ve driven around the lot or garage and found no open spots, stop looking for a spot. That’s right: stop looking for a spot and start looking for a car without the right parking credentials. Why should you suffer for their mistakes? Once you find one, call UCF Parking Services and watch as a tow truck magically opens the spot for you. You’ll have a parking spot and may even be awarded a Medal of Honor by SGA.

Provide an Incentive for Others Not to Park

This is where you can get creative. Maybe you could take down a “B and D Permits Only” sign and put up your own sign only for a permit that doesn’t exist. Maybe you could systematically slash tires in a certain parking lot every week. After a few months, that parking lot would become known as “the tire slashing lot” and nobody would want to park there. The possibilities are endless. Let your mind run wild and your car sit still, parked right where you want it.

Get a Special Parking Decal

Imagine a world where you can park in the best spots in the lot, any time of day or night. This is obtainable if you want it bad enough. On a day you don’t have class, take a walk to campus and step into traffic at some point on the way. Make sure the cars are moving fast enough to do some serious damage and jump as high as you can right before impact. This way, your leg injuries will be severe enough to warrant a handicap parking permit. Sure, you may never walk again, but you could sue to pay off your student loans, get a sick new wheelchair, and most importantly, get that sweet, sweet handicap parking.

Embrace the Fines

If you work hard for your money, you know how fulfilling it feels to spend it and know you earned those rewards. That being said, it’s worth noting that there’s only a $30 fine for parking in a teacher’s spot. It doesn’t have to be an everyday occurrence, $30 is a small price to pay for being on time without stress. As for UCF’s more affluent students, there’s always the $250 fine for handicap parking. The Stallion’s official stance is that students should earn handicap parking the hard way, but to each their own.

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