Summer A Freshmen Assume Their Classes Will Still be this Small in the Fall

This past weekend’s reports largely conclude that freshmen students beginning enrollment this summer largely believe that their classes will still be equal in size come the Fall semester.  

“They said this school was supposed to be the second-largest in the country, but this is the largest class I have this semester!” proclaimed freshman Political Science major Kenneth Greene after the other four students filed out of his Cultural Anthropology class.

Following the conclusion of her English Composition class of which she is the sole student, freshman Kelsi Peterson descended from an elaborate throne fashioned from the many empty desks in the classroom. “I just love the intimate liberal arts college feel of this school,” said Peterson.

“I hardly walk around campus without seeing someone I know by name. The sense of community here is very special,” said Philosophy major Sandra Ahmed, tearing up a bit. She added that she fully expects to both learn and remember the names of everyone in each of her fall classes.

Even more misconceptions about the true nature of student life at UCF became apparent when some freshmen were asked to tell us their favorite aspects of classes.

“My favorite part of academic life would have to be the unrestricted access to my professors.” said English Literature freshman Mateo Peralta. He reported that he has the cell phone number, personal email address, and home address of each of his professors, along with instructions to “hit me up anytime, man.” Peralta added that, unless campus were to suddenly flood with students from all corners of the globe, he expects to have this same level of access to his professors in the fall.

“For me, it’s definitely watching movies in class,” said Nursing major Sam Reynolds as she vacated her Cinema Studies class. When we pointed out that the class was, in fact, Cinema Studies, she responded, “No, I mean in every class. So far I’ve watched Interstellar in Astronomy, and Superbad in Statistics. I’m not sure how it applies to the curriculum, but my professor assures me that it does.” Reynolds also added that she enjoys almost daily class parties, as well as conducting class outside on a completely vacant Memory Mall — both things which she believes to be mainstays of the UCF academic experience.