Spring Break 2018: The Top 7 Highlights That Definitely Happened

Another spring break has ended, and in all the confusion of non-stop partying and/or relaxing, you may have missed some of the high points of the week. Don’t worry – our crack team of Stallion reporters has compiled a list of the craziest, wackiest, really real events from UCF’s spring break.

  1. Senior Rod McHenry and his friends spent their break down in South Beach Miami, where they partook in heavy drinking, sexual acts seen only in the Kama Sutra, and the opportunity to practice broken Spanish with people fluent in English.
  2. Student Todd Terje spent his spring break working out not only his body but also his noodle. After some intense cardio at his local gym last Monday night, the sophomore Exercise Science major stumbled upon his younger brother playing a heated round of the popular board game Settlers of Catan in the family living room. Skeptical at first, Terje quickly grew addicted to civilization-building tabletop game. After playing some 400+ rounds over the break, Terje is confident that he could best any opponent, be it in a real-life physical fight or a sheep-based trade war.
  3. There’s nothing like spending a classic week in the heart of Sin City – Las Vegas. A group of Tri-Delts landed there last weekend and headed straight for the MGM Grand, where they lost all of their tax refund money on the slot machines. The absence of the MGM Lion marked the pinnacle of their disappointment.
  4. Allison Goldstein, a senior Philosophy major, managed to go the entire week without realizing that she was, in fact, on spring break. As a fully online student, Allison, oblivious to the world, continued working on her assignments as usual. She reportedly considers herself “transcendent above the petty agendas of students bound to a physical campus.”
  5. Sophomore Winston Lee maximized his spring break by doing what his heart most desired: marathoning the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe. He’s a strong believer in watching the films in the order in which they came out. The completion of his experience was the release of the new Infinity War trailer; he spent the better part of the weekend analyzing it frame-by-frame.
  6. When the news broke over the break that Nickelodeon was searching for the next incarnation of “Steve” to host the upcoming reboot of their popular children’s show Blue’s Clues, junior Religious Studies major Shane Torres took off to Burbank for the audition. Despite his cheek gauges, multiple piercings, and lack of acting experience, Torres was reportedly confident in his performance.
  7. Several political science students spent their break in Tallahassee advocating for the Sunshine Protection Act, the bill that would make Daylight Savings Time permanent in the state of Florida. They felt strongly that this was the most important piece of legislation to make it to Governor Rick Scott’s desk this legislative session.

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