America’s Next Industry Shark? This Student is Selling Scantrons Before His Midterm for $10

On Thursday morning, during a Principles of Microeconomics lecture with 300 students, many sat down to realize that they had forgotten the raspberry scantron for the multiple choice portion of their midterm. Though the exam date had been listed on the syllabus since the start of the semester, most in the course failed to get the required materials to complete it.

Reports claim that, having bought the last three packs in the nearest vending machine earlier that morning, junior Alex O’Reilly offered to sell his surplus scantrons to students in need – for a $10 fee. He allegedly accepted payments in cash or through his Venmo account, though some reports claim he was accepting Bitcoin.

“They should’ve gotten theirs beforehand,” said O’Reilly, refusing to look up as he counted his earnings for the morning. “You can get one for free at three places on campus. This is just supply and demand. I generated a supply, and there’s definitely a demand. I learned THAT in The Art of the Deal.”

The course professor was unsure where he stood on O’Reilly’s sales endeavor. “I mean, he’s applying class concepts,” said Prof. Anderson Monroe, who’s taught the course at the university for the last six years. “But it’s kind of a jerk move. $10? Really?” Students in the exam said Monroe watched the transactions from his podium, lightly chuckling and snapping a photo before calling over the TA to watch. 

Students had mixed feelings towards their classmate for selling the scantrons at such a large profit margin. Around 30% hated O’Reilly’s exploitative business, launching into extended rants regarding their experiences with ticket scalpers from the Auburn game. Curiously, around 20% fully supported his actions, calling it an economic incentive for classmates who were too dumb to think ahead – referring, of course, to themselves. The opinions of the remaining 50% of the class could not be discerned, as these interviewees simply spouted terms like “opportunity cost” and “invisible hand.”

Concerned about resource scarcity and price gouging, UCF’s Knights for Socialism have officially announced their boycott of the course’s final and all upcoming exams, claiming that scantrons stand as a symbol of the financial divide in academia and the struggle of the proletariat.