Scott Frost’s Newborn Baby Named Top Quarterback Recruit of Class of 2035

At just nine days old, Scott Frost’s newborn son has already caught the attention of the college football world. The as-of-yet unnamed baby boy has been rated as the top quarterback recruit of the class of 2035 by 247Sports and ESPN, beating out hundreds of other candidates who have yet to even pick up a football or, in some cases, be born.

Baby Frost, who was born at 12:15 AM on Wednesday, November 8th, has been described as an athletic freak. Weighing in at a robust seven pounds and measuring 1’8” in height, Baby Frost would tower above the competition, if he was able to stand. He has been clocked at speeds of up to 3.1 mph when in his stroller, and has completed the 40 yard dash after just 30 minutes of crawling.

Baby Frost has yet to declare which college program he plans on committing to, mainly due to an archaic NCAA rule that says college players must first graduate from high school, middle school, elementary school, kindergarten, and preschool. Fans of the University of Nebraska have already claimed Baby Frost as their own, hoping that the future quarterback will finally return Husker football to national relevance in 2035.

Baby Frost’s prospects do not come without their concerns, however. Reports say that rather than hitting the gym regularly, the future All-American instead opts to sleep sixteen to seventeen hours a day. This lackadaisical training regimen, along with his odd diet (consisting of only dairy), has left many college coaches wondering if he can maintain this level of athletic prowess for another eighteen years — or if he’s just a flash in the pan.

Another major area of concern with Baby Frost is academics. When seated for the SAT to determine his academic eligibility for college football Baby Frost cried, tried to eat the pencil, burped, cried again, and fell asleep.

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