How To Score Tickets for the USF Game Without Standing in Line

The pressure is on as UCF’s thus-far undefeated football season has raised the stakes even further than usual for the upcoming game against rival team USF. Tickets for the “War on I-4” became available last week, with the 12,000 free tickets offered Tuesday morning selling out in record time. With ticket prices only increasing from now on, you might have to spend upwards of $100 just to get your parents through the door. If you don’t have enough school spirit to pay through the nose so your aunt Sally can see the Knights crush the Bulls this Black Friday, don’t worry, the Stallion has you covered. Here are thirteen unconventional ways to find tickets for the game.

 

  1. On Thanksgiving night, make a sale post on your class Facebook page desperately begging for spare tickets. Who knows, you might get lucky!
  2. Go fishing for some tickets at Lake Claire. Weird things fall in there all the time.
  3. Pick your roommate’s lock; they’re surely hiding some tickets (among other things) in their underwear drawer. Your RA will understand.
  4. Simply inform the ticket office that you went to every game in the 2015-2016 season. The cashier will place their hand on your shoulder, silently nod, and let you in the stadium with a tearful salute.
  5. Become best friends with the people in SGA. Promise them a vote in the future and they just might slide you a ticket or two. Electoral fraud is all the rage these days.
  6. In the next twenty days become Baby Frost’s new babysitter. Coach Frost will be forever in your debt and will surely be willing to pay you in tickets.
  7. Hunt down a scalper, beat them up and rob them. If they fight back or file a police report for robbery, ask if they see the irony.
  8. Go to the mysterious fifth floor of the library. It may be restricted and off-limits but rumor has it there are some tickets hidden under the new furniture.
  9. Find any vending machine on campus that doesn’t work and shove a bag of Lays up through the drop tray. A ticket will dispense from the dollar slot.
  10. Conduct an elaborate heist of the CFE Arena box office. You’ll need the programming team to hack the printer, a theatre major to distract the security guard, and Tacko Fall to reach the keys on top of the filing cabinet.
  11. Bring formal clothes and camp out with your family overnight in the luxury box. On game day, put on the clothes, adopt fancy-sounding names, and you’ll fit right in. You may need to brag about your donations to the school to seem convincing; if you can’t think of an amount, just use your tuition.
  12. Go to the Chili’s bar in the Student Union at midnight, look at the bartender, and ask to see Mr. Millican. The bartender will pour you a shot of black and gold liquid – if you can down it without gagging, your family can go to any football game for free.
  13. By UCF law, the first person dressed as Knightro on the field is designated as Knightro for the remainder of the game. If you don’t mind hyping the crowd and punching your chest for three hours, consider being the mascot for free entry.

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