Early Tuesday morning, the UCF Homecoming Committee announced that this year, for the first time ever, students will be allowed to use medieval weapons to fight for the coveted rubber ducks of Spirit Splash.
“With the cancellation of two home football games, we wanted to make Homecoming extra special this year. Giving our students the opportunity to bash each other with a mace or broadsword in the name of some rubber ducks seemed to be the best course of action to get them into the Knights spirit,” University President John C. Hitt explained. “Plus, after Spirit Splash was voted Best Homecoming Tradition in the country we had to find a way to stay on top.”
As he dragged his chainmail armor to the Reflecting Pond for some pre-Splash training, UCF sophomore Pedro Muniz told us that he’d been swindled out of catching an elusive rubber duck last year. “That won’t happen again,” he said, gesturing to the great sword at his waist.
There will, of course, be regulations regarding what weapons can be used at the Pond. The Student Government Association has announced that all weapons used must be certified medieval relics forged no later than 1460 and must be registered with the Office of Student Affairs by October 11th.
Pre-approved weapons can be purchased at various on-campus vendors, but students can also try to save a bit of money by buying them from a certified online distributer. Students should be on the lookout for maces, long swords, battle-axes, and warhammers to deal the most skull-crushing damage with the most historical accuracy. “I appreciate that the students love the ducks but just catching them isn’t what UCF stands for,” says Vice President of Student Development, Maribeth Ehasz. “Students shouldn’t just sit back and be passive with their education, and they shouldn’t be passive when it comes to getting a duck either. Break a clavicle, shatter a femur, go forth and charge on,” she said with a smile. While Ehasz will not be at the event itself, she assured us she will watch the Battle Royale safely from the top of the education building.
The Stallion reached out to SGA President Nick Larkins for comment: “We know how riled up [the students] get about those ducks, and we don’t want anybody getting hurt unless it’s at the hands of some authentic weaponry; otherwise it’s just students bludgeoning and impaling each other with cheap knock offs. Where’s the school spirit in that? We’re Knights after all; we’re men and women of valor, and we shan’t be afraid to cut down any adversary to get our hands on a rubber duck.”
Students who plan to attend the event should be forewarned that they will, for the first time, have to sign a waiver prior to participating in Spirit Splash this year.