UCF Intramural Flag Football Team to Take a Knee; Protests and Counter-Protests Already Planned

A UCF intramural flag football team is making headlines this week after releasing a Facebook post outlining their plans to kneel during the national anthem.

“We can no longer sit back and be quiet about these issues,” said sophomore history major and team captain, Lawrence Higgins. “The way this country is going is shameful, so we will take a knee until we believe things are headed in the right direction.”

The protest has garnered acclaim and gone viral across Facebook and Twitter; event pages protesting the plan to kneel have cropped up on Facebook and continue to gain supporters.

Originally, the UCF Republicans planned a counter-protest to the flag football team’s protest. Then, not to be outdone, the UCF Democrats announced their intentions to protest the UCF Republican’s counter-protest of the flag football team’s protest.

‘Protestception’ was born when the UCF Moderates announced their plans.

Moderate president Noah Spineman explained to Stallion reporters: “Listen, we just wanted to make sure everyone’s opinions are heard, and that’s the whole point of our counter-protest to the Democrat’s counter-protest of the Republican’s counter-protest of the team taking the knee.”

“I just want everyone to get along,” said Moderate executive board member and junior exercise therapy major, Kent Choosie. “I get that the College Republicans see the players taking a knee in protest as disrespectful, and I also see why the College Democrats think it highlights an important injustice… I just don’t want to make anyone mad.”

“I think there is good and bad on both sides of the protests,” said University President John C. Hitt. “We want to protect all free speech, even the arguments coming from people in the middle who are more concerned about appeasing everyone than actually making a point.”

While Hitt appears to be in support of the students’ right to protest, representatives at the UCF Rec and Wellness Center are simply confused. “The national anthem doesn’t even get played before intramural sports,” said a spokesperson, shrugging. “So I don’t even know when they plan on taking a knee.”