13 Kinds Of People You’ll Meet At A UCF Tailgate

    1. The Pong Ref:This guy turns into a beer pong rule book the minute someone takes those red solo cups out: “Hey bro, could you watch those elbows? Also, touch up those cups in the front for me.” If you wanted to play him for money, or fun, you’re better off enjoying a round with someone else.
    2. The Moocher: He bums alcohol off everyone else, complains the tailgate doesn’t have enough beer, and in fact, at one point, you saw him offering people shots from the bottle you brought.
    3. The Football Hipster: If you don’t know about their “unique” opinion on how football is boring then you haven’t tried starting a conversation with them on game day. They claim football was the dumbest thing ever invented, but here they are, at a football tailgate.
    4. The Ex-Bench Warmer: He swears he could have played for the team. “Listen man, if my coach in high school had just sent my tapes out here, and my ankle wasn’t giving me so many problems my senior year, I would be starting at wide receiver today, believe me.” Bonus points if he’s in a fraternity.
    5. The “Let’s go to Lake Claire” Dude: He’s never happy just hanging with friends before the game, and Memory Mall isn’t “Lit” enough. He says it’d be cool to go because he knows two guys in frats; one of them dropped last semester and the other in a pre-professional medical fraternity..
    6. The Liability: Girl you know won’t make it to the stadium. “Come on guys! It’s only 11:30!! Let’s take some more shots!” She probably won’t make it to see the game; just hope you aren’t the one who has to leave early to take her home.
    7. The Person Wearing the Wrong Colors: The student pamphlet at the bookstore clearly said the first game was a white out Karen, you’re only hurting yourself by wearing all black.
    8. Barefoot Guy: There’s no quote for this guy, because he doesn’t talk, he just runs around in cargo shorts with no shoes on. His feet are just caked in Memory Mall beer mud. No one talks to him; he talks to no one. He is an enigma.
    9. No-Shirt Guy: “Bro, come throw the ball with me, I hate just sitting around here.” Like Barefoot Guy, he also rocks cargo shorts. Unlike Barefoot Guy, No Shirt Guy will not stop talking. In both cases, no one’s listening.
    10. Undercover Cops on Memory Mall: “Hello fellow #teens could I interest you in an alcoholic beverage?” They are good for one thing: they keep No Shirt Guy away from The Liability.
    11. Navy Seal Team 6: Allegedly after taking down Bin Laden some of Seal Team 6 was reassigned protect CFE arena and the “Bounce House”. Seriously, take a look at the fire power Orlando PD brings next time you’re going to a game. That’s definitely Seal Team 6.
    12. The “Woke” Fan: “Yeah I love football, it’s just sad that in college, it’s basically slave labor because the players aren’t getting paid.” He makes valid points, but drives them home so much it makes you feel bad for even showing up.
    13. Someone’s Parents: You never really know whose parents they are, or why they are here, but they always end up being the coolest people at the tailgate once everyone has had a few drinks.
    14. Probably Some UCF Students Who Like Football.

 

 

 

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