Professor Spends Twenty Minutes Lecturing About Student Interrupting Lecture

In an unexpected turn of events during a Friday afternoon lecture, Humanities 2210 professor Dr. Ghandis, addressed what he calls “a plague of disrespectful behavior.” With fifteen minutes of his lecture remaining, he spotted Jeremy Finch (one of his 400 students) attempting to slip out the back exit door of the lecture hall; halting the lesson to address Finch.

Students, Finch included, reportedly spent the next twenty minutes listening with rapt interest to Dr. Ghandis’ complaints on various informative topics. Allegendy his rant began by addressing “how annoying it is when students leave early,” but soon devolved and covered topics such as the numerous extension-begging emails students send, students’ poor handwriting, something about longboards being a scourge on campus, and students breathing too loudly during tests. “I worried this course, like other gen-eds, would just be a cash-grab by UCF,” commented Roberto Encisio, “but not I can confidently say this is the best time I’ve had in a lecture hall.”

When asked for comment, Jeremy Finch said “I don’t understand why he made such a big deal out of it. I pay attention in class, study hard, and perform well on his tests. So what if I needed to sneak out a bit early? I had to get to work so I can even afford to attend this school.”

Other students including Franklin Morrison had a different opinion. “I love it when Dr. Ghandis goes on these diatribes. When I hear that sharp inhale followed by the slam of his dry-erase marker on the tray I know it is the perfect opportunity to leave class while he’s distracted with his complaints.”

Janice Robinson, a senior taking the class to fill her final credit hours at UCF, told one Stallion reporter, “Oh boy, what an exciting lesson today. Maybe if we are lucky we can get to listen to Dr. Ghandis’ opinion on tenure next time!”

Dr. Ghandis concluded his profound remarks with a powerful “This isn’t high school anymore, ya’ know,” as the class swiftly exited the premises to work on the assigned reading, since everything wasn’t covered in class due to the behavior of “some students.”

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