Business Major Consoles Fellow Student During Mid-Semester Slip Into the Void

As UCF approaches midterms, many students are spiraling toward their breaking point. Benjamin Crossley, an Aeronautics Engineering major, is familiar with the sensation of losing grasp on reality and has found a coping mechanism in his friend, Ryan Machado, a UCF Business major. “Ever since Spring Semester of freshman year, Ryan and I really seem to have clicked,” stated Crossley. “Sometimes it’s difficult for people to communicate across majors, but honestly I got lucky finding Ryan.”

“I know we both have it tough right now,” said Machado. “As a Business major, I understand stress exists, and I have to be there for Benjamin when it gets to be too much for him. Benjamin would be there for me if it ever affected me that much. It’s a simple cost-benefit analysis actually, and I’ve found the perfect balance of marginal cost and marginal utility in how much time I spend with Benjamin.”

Crossley relies on Machado to get him through the hard times. “Sometimes I’m told that I become a different person when I descend into the void as midterm madness approaches,” said Crossley in abject confusion. “I find myself having the same dream over and over. I’m taking a creative writing midterm where I have to write a short story- It’s a great break from the stress of engineering — until I get attacked by a giant pen.

The duo could last be seen together at press time, with Crossley comparing himself to a garbage can fire that had been started by another panicked student, and Machado closely nearby reassuring Crossley that “it’s called a garbage can- not a garbage can’t”.