Freshman makes Dean’s List rewarded only with disappointment

“I don’t get it,” Kyle Hambrick said. “At least in high school I got a coupon to McDonalds.”

About 3,000 freshmen made it to the Dean’s list in Fall 2016 and Hambrick was one of them. He earned the accolade after working hard throughout his Fall 2016 term. Hambrick earned A’s in Freshman Composition, Introduction to Principles in Biology, and Fundamentals of Oral Communication Honors, and a B in Basic Statistics Using Microsoft Excel.

“The material is way harder in college,” Hambrick notes. “I can only assume my high school teachers were bad because I really don’t feel prepared. Do you know how hard it is to remember all my assignments when my mom can’t remind me?”

In our interview with Hambrick he made his position clear: “I just want credit for my hard work. I even had to come home after tailgating to study, so I missed a game. I feel like my achievements are being overlooked here, it’s like no one cares how hard I work. I can’t even get any respect for being in the Brunette Honors College. What’s even the point?”

“Even my roommate just said ‘cool’ when I told him. Then he kicked me out because he had to study with some girl. They didn’t even have books. Shouldn’t he have let me stay to help them study? He could have at least asked me for tips.”

We attempted to interview Hambrick’s roommate, but there was a sock on the doorknob.

 

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3 Comments on "Freshman makes Dean’s List rewarded only with disappointment"

  1. Congrats on taking a satirical article seriously lol

  2. #thatslife unfortunately we aren’t in kindergarten or high school anymore where every little achievement gets awarded its college get real. Your supposed to be preparing for your future endeavors the college isn’t supposed to award you with a prize for doing what you should be doing in the first. If you want an award here it is you reputation is built up your resume is boasted and hopefully it makes you a prime candidate for graduate school.

  3. Haha I loved the roommate bit

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